My Kid Needs This

Nothing (not even dinner with your parents) will make you feel like a failed adult than realizing a child has a nicer playhouse than your real house! The Grand Portico Mansion Playhouse is for children everywhere who are in desperate need of their own mini-mansion. 
$11,160.00
Amazon
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It's never too soon to teach the kids about lawsuits and suing someone! How else are they going to make a living?! The Lawsuit Game is a fun and competitive way to learn about legal stuff- plus it makes for great family bonding time!
$29.99
Amazon
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Yes, your child does need a cape backpack!! They're your super hero sidekick every single day and it's about time their peers knew about it. With this backpack, they'll be fightin' crime and saving the school one bully at a time!
$39.90
Amazon
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Teaching your children to play with their food is probably an excellent parenting idea! The Food Face kids plate makes it easy to get your pride and joy's creative juices flowing... all over the kitchen! Make dinner time even more entertaining. 
$12.60
Amazon
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Divorce and daddy issues will probably traumatize your children to the point of no recovery however this book will ensure your kids will be 100% screwed up and will never be a successful adult. This type of scheming takes skill and it's about time you read up on it!
$9.35
Amazon
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Everyone knows that bigger is better! Your sweetheart will never forget how much you love them when they come home to this 54 inch bear every day!! Get your Valentine an un-bear-lievable gift from the famous FAO Schwarz toy store!
$799.99
1 Fav
Is your child prepared for the Zombie Apocalypse? Probably not! The "That's Not Your Mommy Anymore: A Zombie Tale" book will illustrate to your child what to do if you ever turn into a flesh eating zombie. It's an important life skill every child should know!
$6.99
Amazon
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Brushing your teeth with cupcakes sounds like a great idea! The Accoutrements Cupcake Frosting Flavored Toothpaste will make you want to actually brush your teeth two times a day. Keep those pearly whites clean and your tastebuds satisfied!
$3.99
Amazon
1 Fav
Because thumb wrestling should be an Olympic sport! The Hog Wild Pro Thumb Wrestler will take your thumb wrestling game from amateur to pro in no time! Beat your opponents in seconds and be the top thumb wrestler in all the land!
$12.99
Amazon
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Children are easy to lose- they run around and don't take directions well. Find your child easily with the child locator! A must have for dads everywhere because "I lost our child at the park" doesn't work well with the wife. Hey, at least you don't have them on a baby leash!
$17.98
Amazon
1 Fav
Talk about the perfect piece to add to your minimalist apartment, the streamline laundry hamper looks like a real washing machine. It's also a great purchase for kids who love to play house- you'll never have to pick up their dirty laundry again!
$20.99
Amazon
2 Favs
Whale would you look at this! If Jonah and the Whale is your favorite bed time story then this sleeping bag will make it a little bit more realistic. The Snore-ca sleeping bag lets your kids snuggle up with one of the ocean's largest inhabitants.
$129.99
Amazon
1 Fav